Which Parenting Style Fits Your Child’s Temperament? Find Out Now! 

Which best describes the relationship between parenting styles and children’s temperaments? This question has intrigued parents, psychologists, and researchers for decades. The way parents raise their children, and the inherent traits of those children form a dynamic dance that influences a child’s development and behavior. To unravel this enigma, we must first understand the foundational concepts of parenting styles and children’s temperaments. 

What are Parenting Styles? 

Parenting styles are parents’ strategies, attitudes, and behaviors when interacting with their children. These styles, typically classified into four main categories, significantly shape a child’s emotional, social, and cognitive development: 

Authoritative parenting is akin to striking a harmonious balance between setting clear expectations and boundaries while nurturing and responsive to a child’s needs. Parents who adopt this style provide a framework that offers structure and guidance, which instills a sense of security and discipline in their children. Importantly, they maintain a loving and empathetic connection with their offspring. This balanced approach promotes independence, self-reliance, and the development of strong decision-making skills. 

In contrast, authoritarian parenting leans heavily on a strict adherence to rules and discipline. These parents place significant value on obedience and structure within the family dynamic. While providing a structured environment, they may sometimes lack the warmth and emotional support children crave. Authoritarian parenting can lead to exceptionally well-behaved children who might struggle with self-expression and emotional development. 

Permissive parenting is the art of being lenient and permissive towards children. Parents who embrace this style are often indulgent, granting their children a high degree of freedom and autonomy. They encourage creativity and independent thinking, allowing children to explore their interests without excessive constraints. However, permissiveness may sometimes come at the expense of the necessary structure for a child’s development. 

Uninvolved parenting takes on a hands-off approach to child-rearing. Parents following this style tend to be distant and neglectful, often providing only the most basic care necessary for their children’s physical needs. Emotional involvement and support are notably lacking in this parenting style. While uninvolved parents may unintentionally foster independence in their children, they also risk leaving them with emotional scars and neglect. 

These four primary parenting styles encapsulate the spectrum of approaches parents use to interact with their children. It’s important to note that there can be variations within these styles, and many parents may adopt a combination of elements from different styles to best suit their children’s unique needs. 

The Challenge of Children’s Temperaments 

Children’s temperaments encompass the innate characteristics and traits that define their individuality. These traits include their adaptability to new situations, their typical activity level, their general mood, and the intensity of their emotional reactions. These traits, which are relatively stable and often evident from infancy, create a unique fingerprint for each child. Understanding your child’s temperament is crucial because it forms the foundation for adapting your parenting style to meet their needs best. 

The Impact of Genetics 

Genetics plays a significant role in shaping a child’s temperament. It’s common to observe certain traits, such as shyness, sociability, or impulsivity, mirrored in family members, including parents and grandparents. These genetic predispositions set the stage for a child’s temperament, but the interplay between genetics and parenting style is where the complexities arise. 

For example, suppose a child has a genetic predisposition for shyness, and their parents employ an authoritarian, strict, rule-oriented parenting style. In that case, it may amplify the child’s shyness, leading to a reserved and introverted personality. Conversely, if the parents adopt a more permissive style, it may temper the child’s shyness, gradually allowing them to build confidence in social situations. 

The Role of Environmental Factors 

While genetics provides the foundation, the environment in which a child is raised also profoundly influences their temperament. A nurturing and stable environment typically encourages positive emotional and social development. Children who grow up in supportive and secure surroundings tend to exhibit more positive temperament traits, such as sociability and adaptability. 

On the other hand, children facing adversity or instability in their environment may develop different characteristics, such as heightened anxiety or a more reserved demeanor. These environmental factors can interact with a child’s genetic predispositions and parenting style, creating a complex interplay of influences on their temperament. 

Understanding the Goodness of Fit 

The goodness of fit concept encapsulates how well a child’s natural temperament aligns with their parents’ expectations and chosen parenting style. When there’s a good fit, it implies that the child’s innate traits match the parents’ approach to parenting. This alignment often leads to a smoother parent-child relationship, with reduced conflicts and misunderstandings. 

Conversely, a mismatch between a child’s temperament and the parenting style can result in challenges and conflicts. For instance, if a child is highly active and impulsive, but their parents follow an authoritarian, rule-based parenting style, there may be friction. Understanding and recognizing these mismatches is vital for parents to adjust their approach and cater to their child’s unique needs. 

The Interplay of Parenting Styles and Temperaments 

The relationship between parenting styles and children’s temperaments is intricate. It’s not as simple as one style fitting all temperaments. Instead, it’s about recognizing each child has unique traits and needs. 

  • Authoritative Parenting and Temperament: Authoritative parenting works well with children who are adaptable and responsive to structure. These children benefit from clear expectations and boundaries, which provide a sense of security. 
  • Authoritarian Parenting and Temperament: Authoritarian parenting may be challenging for children with strong-willed or more emotionally sensitive temperaments. These children may rebel or become anxious under strict rule-setting. 
  • Permissive Parenting and Temperament: Permissive parenting can be beneficial for children who are highly creative and self-driven. However, it might lead to behavioral issues for children who require more structure. 
  • Uninvolved Parenting and Temperament: Uninvolved parenting is generally detrimental to all temperaments. Regardless of their traits, children require emotional engagement and parental support. 


In the intricate dance between parenting styles and children’s temperaments, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to “Which best describes the relationship between parenting styles and children’s temperaments?” The key lies in understanding your child’s unique temperament and adapting your parenting style to meet their needs. Doing so can nurture a loving, supportive, and growth-enhancing environment for your child’s development. 


PDS Australia empowers families to build strong relationships with their children, create a safe environment for their children’s development, and ensure the best possible outcomes for their children.